Thursday, November 30, 2006

James Bond.........

The image above made you think it would be brilliant, so much so that you got tickets for the day it came out.

It knocked you for six, the beginning was good:

‘Holster the bloody weapon Carter, I want him alive.’

The rest was very bad:

‘I have no armor left. You've stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me - whatever I am - I'm yours.’

That’s not James Bond.

Where was the car chase, the clever gadgets, the quick quips?

One of your favourite moments in the films was where as he was underwater in a speedboat and he straightened his tie, now THAT is James Bond.

In your opinion Daniel Craig did a satisfactory job, but Pierce Brosnan and Sean Connery make him look like an amateur. Hopefully the next James Bond film, scheduled for 2008 will be a lot better, giving Craig the opportunity to actually play James Bond.

However, you have to compliment one of the Bond Girls, Solange, what a woman, what a dress, truly the highlight of the film:

A few of your favourite moments from the Bond series:

James Bond: Why did you marry him?
Paris Carver: He told me he loved me.
James Bond: Always sounds good.

(After throwing Davidov in a Skip)
Man: What happened to Davidov?
James Bond: He was buried with work.

James Bond: Discipline 007, discipline.

Woman: You're all wet.
James Bond: Yes, but my martini's still dry.

James Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Auric Goldfinger: No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die.

Saving the best till last:

‘Bond, James Bond.’

He is truly the coolest man on the planet, no question.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

'Welcome, i'm PCSO 420, how may I help you?'

While Searching 'PCSO' on, you found the above photo. You have now confirmed that God moves in mysterious ways, bloody beautiful.

The role of a PCSO is to provide a high visibility presence on the streets, as you have seen, it is going quite well. You are not 'anti pcso', because you have worked with one or two, and they were good at their job.

According to the website they are:

1. Contributing to the regeneration of local communities
2. Increasing public safety
3. Dealing with truants, graffiti, abandoned vehicles, litter, missing persons enquiries
4. Helping to support crime victims
5. Controlling crowds at major events, such as football games or concerts.

Now they are going to put behind desks. 350 are going to be replacing Civilian Counter Staff in the Metropolitan Police and they are even considering putting them in call centres.

Therefore a complete U-Turn from their original purpose.

When the hell is someone going to make a decision and stick to it?

How can they be out in the community if they are sat behind desks? They can't have a 'Police COMMUNITY SUPPORT Officer' sat in a Police Station, wake up Sir Ian Blair!

"I hate this bastard place, it's a bloody holiday camp for thieves and weirdoes, all the rubbish. You nail a villain and some ponced up pin stripe Hampstead barrister screws it all up like an old fag packet and pops off for a game of squash and a glass of Madeira. He's taking home 30 grand a year and we can just about afford 10 days in Eastbourne and a second hand car. Nah, it's all bloody wrong, my son."

The Sweeney.

Double Standards?

BA Woman Banned from showing cross.

If a member of staff can wear a turban or a bangle, why can't they wear a cross symbolising Christianity?

It seems that if a person was to say anything against Islam or another religion then they are branded racist, but if they were to say something Anti Semitic or Anti Christian, it would be considered amusing or not worthy of thought.

'All men are dogs and only want sex.'

If a woman were to say this in the work place, people would laugh, but if a man were to say this:

'All women are cows and only want money.'

He would be branded sexist, and most likely disciplined.

What the hell is going on?

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


At a Special Constabulary Management meeting, the topic of organising a Piss Up in a Brewery draws a disconcerting reaction from some of the attendees:

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

'There can be no middle ground.'

According to law a woman cannot rape a man:

“Sexual Offences Act 2003:
Part 1 Rape

A person commits an offence if HE intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis B does not consent to the penetration and A does not reasonably believe that B consents.”

This use of HE is all the way through the Sexual Offences Act 2003, did someone forget that the word SHE exists?

Any man alive understands that sometimes a part of their body has a mind of its own, so to speak. You ask people to take heed of this scenario:

A woman abducts a sixteen year old male, strips him naked at knife point, ties him up and takes her own clothes off. He does not give his consent, but a part of his anatomy wants to rise to the occasion. The woman then proceeds to have sex with the male.

Does arousal mean he consented?

You believe that the scenario above constitutes rape, however the law does not.

Time for a change?

Women are either equal to men or they are not, there can be no middle ground.

You also draw people’s attention to the following link:

Woman Jailed for crying Rape.

“You framed an innocent man; you accused him of the most serious offence to be brought against a man in the criminal calendar.” David Lane QC

He has been put through hell, his family have likely disowned him, he will never be rid of this accusation and his life is swimming in the toilet. She should have been given longer in jail, no doubt.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Remembering their Sacrifice.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae.

Today at 11am people remembered their sacrifice, they died so that others might live, so that others could remain free. Some of these brave men miraculously survived to tell the account, of the bravery and sacrifice of those who died selflessly, in the service of their country, long may they rest in peace.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The eighth wonder of the world?

You were trying to keep hold by making fun of the dancing, saying you wouldn’t try it in a million years, then as one of the female dancers took to the stage you had a change of heart. You sat there, gripped to the television set, watching her every move. Her legs were golden, stunning and firm; her curves were from heaven and her vibes from even further into paradise.

As she danced across the screen, the thought of what you had missed, the thought of dancing with her was a dream from God. You forgot everything around you, the world stood still, your fellow watchers fell silent, and you were focused, on this magician, a magician of the dance floor.

This goddess, who you now know to be Karen Hardy, is, and you say this with complete conviction and without fear of contradiction, one of the most attractive women you have ever seen, her vibe, her curves must have been created by the best of sculptures in the Universe.

'Strictly Come Dancing', is worth the entire TV License Fee.

You also heard this on a brilliant Seventies Police Drama:

''Now, because that poor little bastard had the guts to get off his arse, I'm going to have to be reinstated. And what do you bunch of bleeding double-dyed hypocrits want now? You want me to crawl back to work and be terribly grateful that I didn't get nicked for something I didn't do. Well you can stuff it!''

Jack Regan, The Sweeney.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Badge of Honour?

Anti Social Behaviour Orders are not in place to inform the criminal that his/her behaviour is wrong, the law already does that. They are there to increase the punishment if the offences are committed again.

For example if a person shouts abuse at people in the street, it could constitute a Section 5 Public Order Offence, the punishment for that would be very light. However if this said person was breaching an Anti Social Behaviour Order, they could be sent to prison, all be it for a short time.

In the area where you live quite a few Anti Social Behaviour Orders have been given to out. Now people would think that this would stop the little pieces of excrement from actually committing crimes, guess again. They see their ASBO as a medal, as notoriety.

If you had your way, when a smite breached his or her ASBO, they would be put in front of a water cannon, at very close range, just wearing their underwear, and then of course the victim would then operate it at their discretion. A little harsh some may say, but tell that to the people who have had their:

Car Vandalised
Windows broken
Sense of security taken away in their own homes
Excrement deposited in their kitchen sinks.

A recent study showed that Britain’s Youth are the worst in Europe, is it any surprise when the punishments for behaving like shit are so lenient they may as well not exist?

Saturday, November 04, 2006


At the annual Feminist Movement conference the members inadvertently disprove their own theory that women are equal to men in every sense: