A first time, for everything......

No one knows what's going to happen next, least of all you, they both think they are indestructable, infallible and as 'hard as nails', but then so do you.

You stand there watching, thinking that it's going to 'kick off', hoping that it won't, you have the urge to walk away, but instead you move into the middle of them. They both have at least six inches on you, you shout to be heard, trying to get their attention, eventually they both go quiet, and suddenly, you don't know what to say, your voice goes silent, ten seconds later, they are both given a choice.

One chose wisely, he walked away, the other ended up in the back of a police van, on his way to the custody suite.

Before you joined the Police, you hadn't seen genuine:

Squalor.
Despair.
Violence.
Hatred.
Envy.
Degredation.

'For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.'

Jeremiah 29:11

Catch 22......

The night had drawn in, the street lights were long gone, the car headlights were the only way you could see the road ahead, and the orange lights on the dash board were the only illuminations that revealed her exceptionally pretty face, suddenly her lovely voice you desire to hear, perked up and asked:

‘So, if I were to put on my dressing gown and entice you up to my bedroom, would you sleep with me?’

You won’t lie and say that you prepare yourself for every situation whilst on duty, it’s not possible, and that is one of the things you love about playing at being a Policeman, but never have you been so aware that what you say, reflects on how a person responds, especially when the question, has been asked by a woman.

Now you knew that either way you were stuck, like eating eight chocolate éclairs and then trying to get out of a car, stuck. Say yes too quickly, she might think all you want is to get her into bed, say no too quickly she might think you aren’t attracted to her at all.

So you took a little breath, thought about how breathtaking she looks when wearing a dressing gown, how it seems to grip her heavenly curves in all the right places, and you told a stupendous lie:

‘No.’

Resisting temptation is very much part of a Police Officer’s job, resisting the urge to beat the hell out of a detestable man who has just slammed his wife’s head into a wall, the urge to make a wise crack about a male shoplifter who happens to have the aroma of women’s perfume exuding from his person or the urge to tell a senior officer to get out from behind his desk.

Most Police Officers realise that when they join the job, in some cases they will be dammed if they do, and dammed if they don’t. If you act on your urges, there will be consequences, be they serious or minor. If you don’t follow your instincts, you’ll have to go home with your tail between your legs, knowing that you compounded free speech, one thing that should never be taken away, and that is the essence of a society that braver men and women than yourself, have fought and died to protect.

'Impossible situations can become possible miracles.' Robert Schuller.

Not what it seems.......

Three things you expect to encounter in a shift:

A large plasma screen television, purchased on finance from a catalogue.
A teenager who thinks he/she is the king/queen of the world.
A motorist who won’t move out of the way, even when confronted with flashing blue lights and a loud siren.

A while ago you purchased a film called ‘Notting Hill’, and only recently got around to watching it. The circumstances surrounding its purchase, you will never forget, but it wasn’t the best film you’ve ever seen, however, whilst you were watching it you noticed something. Throughout the film various shots are shown of a bookshop, showing the passage of months, but in every shot, a woman was shown attending to her child in the alleyway next to the shop, the same woman, the same child, even after months had past by.

This woman and little child reminded you of the human race, and more specifically the Police Service. Over the passage of time, nothing has changed; Officers still go to the same kind of calls, to the same kind of addresses, arrest the same kind of people, filling out the same paperwork, driving the same derelict vehicles, having the same kit shortages and of course, encountering the same red tape.

However, what attracts many to the job, is the fact that what is going to happen next, only God knows. One minute you're about to go off duty, three hours later you're still on duty, sat in a car outside a warehouse, freezing your arse off, next to a collegue who picks that moment to discuss how he had a kebab earlier, and now feels the call of nature.

You believe in paradox, but the job of the Police, screams it loud enough for anyone to hear.

'Actions are always more complex and nuanced than they seem. We have to be willing to wrestle with paradox in pursuing understanding.'

Harold Evans

Toy soldiers......

'What's wrong with you?'
'What do you mean pal?'
'For free, are you stupid?'
'No, just apathetic.'
'Full of shit more like, how old are you really?'
'Young, put it that way bro.'
'You alright, going home?'
'Sound as a pound my friend, as always.'
'Matcho man.'
'Something like that, so long chap.'

As she sat infront of you, two black eyes, bruises on her face, she maintained he didn't mean it, she didn't cook his food right, the way he liked it to be served. Even when she had been subjected to such degredation and humiliation, she found a way to blame herself, she found a way to exonarate the guilty. The training taught you how to arrest the person who hit her many times, slammed her head into a pedal bin and an ash tray over her head, but not how to deal with a victim, a real victim. That you know, can never be taught, and it can never be mastered, every victim is different, and every time you walk through a door, you know you'll fail to deal with the situation in some way, but every time you do fail, you feel like you at least win another opportunity to try again.

When you were younger, before you joined the Police, you used to believe that anyone could change their life around, with help from the right people, with enough time, anything could be possible. Some people who you come across when you are on duty however, just can't be helped, no matter what you do for them, the police in general, what social services do, the courts and the charities, it never works and it never will.

Sometimes as you look at the victims, you ask yourself is it best to be a toy soldier, doing what you can, with what you have to offer, taking the flack, the abuse, the accusations, or is it best to walk away, and leave it all behind. One day you know you'll have to answer with the latter option, and that, if you had any feelings at all, would scare the hell out of you.

'Step by step, heart to heart, left, right, left, we all fall down, like toy soldiers. Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win, but the battle wages on, for toy soldiers.'

Martika - Toy Soldiers.

Meanwhile..........

When the man who stole the Chief Constables 'diversity training action plan' is found, the arresting Officers are accused of over reacting: