The curse of an effective memory......
As the blue lights reflect on the houses, making most of the small street a low lit blue, he has no idea that what he is going to find will change his view on reality.
The door is opened by a mother, she’s taken a beating, blood is escaping from a cut on her head, her face is tear stained, she cries and let’s him through. She takes a seat on the sofa, and this young Officer’s tutor takes the reigns, asking what has happened and where her husband is, she says she doesn’t know, he’s gone out to calm down.
Suddenly she bolts upright, a thought has come into her mind, she begins to enter the early stages of hysterics, she wants her daughter, and she has no idea where she has gone. The young officer volunteers to go upstairs and look for her, he checks room by room, no sign, the last room is the one with the pink door, he knows he should have checked this one first, he chastises himself for not doing so.
He opens the door, he can’t see anyone, but he knows where to look, because as a younger boy it is where he would hide, if he was scared. He looks under the bed and finds a young girl, she’s crying, he manages to convince her of what he is not convinced of himself, he tells her:
‘You’re going to be alright, you’ll be safe with me, no one is going to hurt you.’
As she stands up, she grabs hold of his leg and hugs it tightly, he doesn’t know what to do. Fighting back tears, he takes her by the hand, down the stairs and into the protective arms of her mother.
Three hours later, he walks to the bus stop, it’s raining and there is no one else around, he scoffs at the fact that it's a cliche. He gets on the bus and sits at the back, he looks around and realises that no one else is there, as he remembers what he knows he will never be able to forget, he puts his hood up and starts to cry silently, uncontrollably. He tries to stop but he can’t, the sound of her cries, the feeling of her tight grip, won’t leave him, to God he wishes it would.
If you had any real courage, any strength of character at all or even a slight hint of bravery, you would admit that this young officer was you.
‘Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.... With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.’
Go Placidly, Desiderata.