Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Prevention better than clear up?

You say ‘clear up’, because there will never be a cure for the emotional trauma that the victim feels during and after this sort of heinous crime.

As you drive home at night you see a lot of women, self-intoxicated to the point of loss of control. They stumble and fall around the streets, unable to walk a straight line and weak enough to fall over. In most cases this is self induced, they have brought the state they are in upon themselves.

‘Alcohol consumption may cause women to ignore or miss cues that suggest an assault is likely. It may keep a woman from realising that her friendly behavior is being perceived as seduction. Drinking may keep a woman from noticing a man's attempts to get her into an isolated location or his encouragement to drink even more. Alcohol consumption may also decrease the likelihood that women can successfully resist an assault, either verbally or physically.’

Alcohol and Rape, What's the Connection?

You hate rapists and think that they should be castrated; there is no question about it. But if a woman can prevent her own rape by not consuming so much alcohol, or dressing in a different manner, should she not do this?

If a man goes to a Cash Machine, but leaves his car door open with the engine running, is he partly at fault if his car is stolen?

A person should answer the above question honestly, then ask themselves the question below:

If a woman is self-intoxicated to the point where she cannot stand, is she partly at fault if she is raped?


At 12:23 PM, Anonymous arksos said...

Good points...

I’m a guy, and i NEVER get myself into a situation where i cannot get myself out of on a night out.

e.g. don’t drink so much that i cannot stand, talk or run away from any trouble i find myself in.

This seems common sense.

People who get so drunk they cannot say no or don’t remember saying no are idiots.

But men who have sex with someone who is out of control and so drunk they cannot speak are an even bigger pile of shit.

No is No...

Its common decency that stops somebody taking advantage of somebody who cannot defend themselves.

But in society (SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME) you have never been able to rely on 100% of people to do the right thing.
I think any woman who gets drunk to the point of unconsciousness should know better,

As the article you linked states.

“Alcohol may be a catalyst, but it is not the cause of the rape. If you choose to drink, you are responsible for what you do because of that choice. “

This line is from the article in relation to men under the influence, but it still can be used to highlight the problem with A woman who has drank too much.
I mean men get absolutely drunk and wake up missing shoes, wallets, watches and mobiles,

THEY are blamed for being so stupid and drinking so much.

But the thief is in the wrong, as well as the man who drank too much.

In a rape scenario, where a woman has drank too much, the rapists must take the lions share of the blame, but depending on circumstance, so must the woman/man who got far too drunk.

Taking advantage of someone who cannot defend themselves or say no is wrong,

To stop someone doing that to me,

I.e. stealing from me while wasted, beating me up because they feel like it,
I remain in control,
I stay with people I know,
I keep out of dodgy areas,
I make sure people know where I am,
If I go home I tell someone,
And I tell them who I go home with…


At 1:47 PM, Blogger Joe90 said...

I couldn't agree more, well said.

At 1:47 PM, Blogger frhe sjgg said...

Joe 90,

good question. In ANY incident, you have to ask yourself, in what way, if any, was I partially responsible for what happenned ?

Could I have done anything to prevent it?

If you are honest about the answers, then you 1) don't feel like a victim (Or as much as one), and 2) you change your behavior because you know that you had a hand in creating what happenned, and you don't want it to happen again...

Rape or any other crime is terrible.

And if you can stop it before it happens, then by all means use your head and do so.

Not drinking to the point of intoxication would be a good start.

Sometimes there are genuine, wholly innocent victims. And you feel horribly for them, feel compassionate, feel fury at their attackers, the perpetrators, people who senselessly wreak havoc and distress on other people...

Other times, you know that the victim was also a co-creator, if only in a small way.
But that small way ending up having a big price tag attached to it...

Spare yourself a lot of grief. Think before you act. It will increase your chances for safety in an unsafe world...

Do everything you consciously can to avoid being a crime statistic. Don't expect the bad guy to be considerate of you. You save you (if you can) before he gets to you...

Anne Elizabth

At 5:01 PM, Anonymous Freya said...

Im a 21 year old female, yes I do get drunk BUT I never walk home alone, I never go home with a total random man & I always make sure Im with friends & get home safely.
There are so many scenarios & situatuations that the word 'rape' covers its impossible to cover them all in one comment but I do think if a woman is so drunk she can barely speak her own name or stand up straight then yes, she is partially to blame. For instance if a woman gets stupidly drunk, is wearing only enough clothes to cover the essentials, has been flirting & giving the come on to one particular man in a club all night, allows herself to be walked home by him all the while giving him the come on, gets to her front door & suddenly says no when he starts coming on a bit strong. Then yes she is partly to blame, you dont put yourself in that situation, thats not to say the man is innocent, after all as pointed out no means no but not everybody takes no as an acceptable answer, not everybody is a decent human being & does the right thing & drink/drugs can massively cloud somebody's judgement & alter their character. On the other hand there are women who will cry rape because they've gone home with a man, had a one night stand & woken up in the morning regretting it. And then there are the brutal & 'real' rapes (I say 'real' referring to the kind of brutal attacks that are committed, not as an expression saying all other rapes are false allegations). I think rapists are the scum of the earth along with child abusers etc because they are all taking advantage of people who arent in control of themselves or are vulnerable. At the end of the day you need to accept responsibility for your own actions, if you can keep yourself out of danger & avoid a situation developing then its common sense to do that.
Sorry if this comment is slightly jumbled but its nearly the end of the week & my brain is refusing to do more than the absolute necassary! Great blog & love the way its set out, different in a very good way :o)

At 10:18 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

Rape is wrong. It is 100% caused by a man's CHOICE not to control himself. It is never the woman's fault and she should bear none of the responsibility. You cannot accidentally rape someone.

At the same time, being so drunk you are disorderly/anti-social/out of control is wrong too. If I was to get comepletely drunk and stand in front of a car on a motorway and got hit, that would be MY fault.

The difference between these two scenarios is that men CHOOSE to rape, it is never accidental.

Linking drinking/flirting/dressing sexily/wearing makeup/kissing/sleeping around (delete as appropriate) with rape is very wrong and leads to the assumption that some men can't help it, when the reality is that rape is a choice.

For the record, I also believe that men who are accused of rape should have the right to remain anonymous until convicted. They currently don't and this is appalling. I'm not naive enough to believe women would never make it up.

If we introduced this right AND made the clear legal distinction that all the so-called circumstances surrounding the rape have no bearing on the man's choice to rape we might actually get some rapists behind bars and innocent men would be protected.


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